Covid Loss

My brother Bill, 1.11.63 - 27.9.21

After an all night vigil, My youngest brother Jim and I made a last visit to Bill's bedside at 8.20 am the next morning. Bill Died in my arms rapidly in ITU just as his wife, his children and family members left the hospital. The shock of how sudden the monitors alarmed and then watching him die on the monitor will stay with me forever. The attending nurse was so cold the way she announced "he's dying right now" and then "he's gone".

The day after the funeral our household went down with Covid and my husband was hospitalised for a week. I was sick and petrified that my husband never come home, like my brother.

Words cannot express the depth of sadness and grief I feel for losing my inspirational, loving and gentle dad to this horrible virus in July 2021. I am blessed and grateful that I knew what it felt like to be loved unconditionally by my dad. He may have passed but he lives on in me and my children. He will never be forgotten for his kindness shone through until the very last moments and his last breath, concerned for what I would experience in the moments after he passed. Dad was truly one in a billion, putting his family first even at this time of great need. Was my honour to be able to hold his hand and to be with him in that moment. Love you dad and “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” God bless you ❤️

I got Long Covid in April 2020 and haven't been the same since. My husband has been my rock and my kids have been great, but I grieve for the person I was. I wasn't able to return to my job, and I'm not the life of the party I used to be. My friend tells me that better things are around the corner, and I hope that's true

I got Long Covid in the first wave, and haven't been the same since. Even now I struggle with brain fog and can only work a few hours a week, and the doctors haven't been able to help. Not sure when or if I'll be better again.

The hardest thing for me was not seeing my nephew Jonathan who was born just after lockdown. We used Facetime but it just wasn't the same, and I still think about the time together that we lost to be a family.

Just as I was coming out the hospice, 20 minutes after my mother had just passed, I got a phone call from the hospital while I was walking up the corridor.

They wanted to talk about my sister. She'd got Covid just a few days before and passed away.

For Those Who Have Died Through Covid
–

My loss is but one loss
as expendable as an exhalation.

I try not to think in terms 
of catastrophe

but imagine loss as a boat 
bobbing about ready for departure

in a busy harbour
alongside so many other boats.

In truth, I feel much further out already
or far underground, with words 

for loss impossible to mine,
whilst above me 

shine
five million extraordinary stars.